Eid & Education
It has been a challenging but satisfying Ramadan. I struggled with keeping up with the homeschooling schedule, fasting, housework, work, etc and having extra hands would have helped but I'll have to be thankful for those from my husband, Ihsan and Umayr who have helped me with their baby sister and the food preparation throughout the month, and for Sofiyya who is always so docile and happy just to be able to draw and read the whole day if she could.
Where possible the boys have done terawih and qiyam at the masjid but otherwise we did our terawih at home. This year was the first time that the boys led some of the terawih at home and it just struck me how fast they have grown; from the little boys whom I made to recite loudly during practice solat to them leading me in prayers. Alhamdulillah.
These few weeks have been especially trying times for our brothers and sisters elsewhere and it is hard to enjoy Eid with our new clothes and overabundance of food here in Singapore. While we pray for them, their circumstances are also reminders to be thankful for what we have and to give what we can.
With regards to the children, I find some of the visuals of what is happening too disturbing to show. On my part, I try to explain why we carry out the qunut nazilah and briefly explain to the children what is happening there.
I try to stay away from tv, social and print media as apart from not providing the full picture, they might have too much information and I would rather tell them what was happening myself. In speaking to our children, we could delve into the concept of muslim kinship, praying for our fellow muslims and if your children are mature enough the issue of syahid, government, revolution and power.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم also said about brotherhood: "None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." [Bukhari & Muslim]
Surah Yusuf, Part of Ayat No. 87
Where possible the boys have done terawih and qiyam at the masjid but otherwise we did our terawih at home. This year was the first time that the boys led some of the terawih at home and it just struck me how fast they have grown; from the little boys whom I made to recite loudly during practice solat to them leading me in prayers. Alhamdulillah.
These few weeks have been especially trying times for our brothers and sisters elsewhere and it is hard to enjoy Eid with our new clothes and overabundance of food here in Singapore. While we pray for them, their circumstances are also reminders to be thankful for what we have and to give what we can.
With regards to the children, I find some of the visuals of what is happening too disturbing to show. On my part, I try to explain why we carry out the qunut nazilah and briefly explain to the children what is happening there.
I try to stay away from tv, social and print media as apart from not providing the full picture, they might have too much information and I would rather tell them what was happening myself. In speaking to our children, we could delve into the concept of muslim kinship, praying for our fellow muslims and if your children are mature enough the issue of syahid, government, revolution and power.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم also said about brotherhood: "None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." [Bukhari & Muslim]
Children, well even adults, sometimes find problems with sharing and showing care for those around them. I used to nag about how they should share what they have but I find that doing was more effective than my dialectics. When I find myself on the verge of a nag, I try my best to stop, and instead do what the child could not bring himself to do like, sharing my food, giving what the other child wants or cleaning up after him or her.
To create a more loving environment, which is hard coming from an authoritarian family model, I try to speak on my children's level instead of talking down to them and give them a hug or a kiss. Sometimes when they are most like to fall into a rage, that is the time to hug and calm them down. This however does not discount the need to put our foot down when a rule is broken and not to waver when limits are pushed.
Maybe, just maybe if we show more affection to our children, when they grow up and become someone of authority insya Allah, they would incline more to compassion and mercy. Furthermore;
The Prophet said, "Allah has divided mercy into 100 parts, and He retained with Him 99 parts, and sent down to earth 1 part. Through this one part creatures deal with one another with compassion, so much so that an animal lifts its hoof over its young lest it should hurt it." (Al-Bukhari)
In Islam, we are thought not to give up hope, no matter how hopeless the situations seems and we need to help our children realise this as they face more challenging situations in their own lives. This is especially so when they grow older and when we are no longer able to be by their side all the time. As we pray for our brothers and sisters elsewhere, we could teach our children the power of du'a- tell them to sit down and make du'a after solat instead of running off immediately and to do the same whenever they feel the need for Allah's help.
o وَلاَ تَيْأَسُواْ مِن رَّوْحِ اللّهِ إِنَّهُ لاَ يَيْأَسُ مِن رَّوْحِ اللّهِ إِلاَّ الْقَوْمُ الْكَافِرُونَ
Never give up hope of Allah's Mercy. Certainly no one loses hope of Mercy, except the people who disbelieve."
and
Surah Al Baqarah, Ayat No. 153
o يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ اسْتَعِينُواْ بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلاَةِ إِنَّ اللّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ
O believers ! Seek help with patience and salat, and Allah is with those who keep patience.
It is difficult to come to terms and to comprehend what is happening between fellow Muslims in those troubled lands and only Allah knows the true purpose this.
‘O Allah, may honour be with Islam and Muslims. Stop all kinds of tyranny and hostility. Help our oppressed brethren wherever they are. Lift them from their hardships, plagues, war and hostility. O Allah, save us from all evil and do not make our place the place of calamity; avert us from any disaster because only You can avert it, O Allah.”
(part of qunut nazilah)
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